Of Fairytales and Nursery Rhymes in the 21st Century - Poem 1: Jack and Jill

Original poem:

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

To fetch a pail of water,

Jack fell down & broke his crown,

And Jill came tumbling after

Modern day concerns:

■      Social Service & Child Affairs: Why were Jack and Jill sent unsupervised to the hill? Who is responsible for the accident - their parents or the well owner or the Government which is supposed to take care of the hill?

■      Opposition party: The Government did not provide water in their homes. That’s why Jack and Jill were forced to go to the hill. If the Government had done its duty, we would not have seen this unfortunate condition of Jack

■      Minorities spokesperson: We are of course, concerned about Jack. However, our first question is, ‘why was Jack wearing a crown?’. Are the upper-castes allowed to do this? Would the incident have been reported if Jack was NOT an upper-caste boy?

■      Woman activist: Was Jill forced to go to the hill with Jack? If so, lets cut off Jack’s xxxx. Serves such perverts right!

■      Bollywood aficionado: I don’t watch English movies. So I really don’t know about the ‘Jack & Jill affair’. Ask me about Kareena, Karishma, Katrina, Kameena….

Revised poem:

Jack and his sister Jill,

Voluntarily & with permission from parents,

Went up the hill to play,

Due to no fault of the Government,

But solely due to temperament,

Jack slipped and hurt his head,

So did Jill and she landed up dead!

■      Poet’s concerns: Where is the lilting tune? The words are so difficult!

■      All in chorus: Shut up! This is the ‘politically correct’ poem.

■      Lone dissenter: But Jill is dead – we cant sit quietly and let this happen. Lets hold a candle march to protest against our dear ‘Jilli-behen’. What a fine girl was she!